Poetry for not having enough TIME

flower and Moth

It seems now that summers here
I have so many things to DO
Like feed the birds
Feed the cats
And stick antlers on them both with GLUE
And the grass grows faster
Than any man would like to SEE
So I have to get the lawn mower working
As well as trim several bits of TREE
Plus make a cardboard Trojan horse
Which I said I would do ages AGO
And hunt under rocks and stuff
Looking for newts and frogs
And other amphibians
To paint strange colours
For the local village summer SHOW
And who has not got a tortoise
Stuck on the garage ROOF
Or problems in their attic
From some demonic monster
With a cloven HOOF
Or a dripping TAP
Or aphids taking a little NAP
While sucking SAP
On the rose
Which was a gift from
Your favourite (scary) GRAN- NEEEEE
Because as we all know
When she comes to visit
It’s the first thing she wants to SEE.
And the greenhouse needs water
As the tomatoes start to WILT
And my working model
Of the Grand Union Canal
Is filling up with SILT
And I do need the odd cup of tea
And a bacon butty or maybe TWO
And the leopard has escaped again
From the local ZOO
And if it attacks Grannies rose
She will be in a terrible RAGE
So I will run off now for a bit
To help get it
Back in its


A chaps work is never done
Maybe a cup of tea first.

Right that’s THAT
The leopard has been caught
Using my gardening HAT
. . . . . .(yes if you wondering, it tried to attack my head)



And now I must finish my poetry
Because tonight I am off out to see
Friends and to have a Chicken DHANSAK
Which they will run off and buy
And then bring BACK

to me

Hang On what do you mean
The poetry is rubbish . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I don’t think you appreciate
How much I have to do
I still have to paint a
Zombie Gnomes wheelbarrow
Bright blue
I know what you think
But it is quite true
He is a friendly chap
And I have called him

OOOOoooo time for another cup of tea…